Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
there was a trapeze. enough said
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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