Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
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The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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