the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Who died my cat blue again?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
