sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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