We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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