I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
