Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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