Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize
