"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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