just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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