hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
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