brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
