In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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