That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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