Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize