Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
nutella sex= disaster
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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