she woke up with a sticky ear
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
soo... how was my night?
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