In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize