she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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