I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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