is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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