I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
