I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
