I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
