you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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