Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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