I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Two words: blizzard sex
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
