Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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