If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
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this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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