Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
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I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
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Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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