know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
