Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
