Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
