True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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