so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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