I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize
