The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
