I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
