i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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