trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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