There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
