some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize