Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
