I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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