Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
