'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
nutella sex= disaster
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
