im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
