You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize