I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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