check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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