we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"