K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
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i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.