Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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