What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.