now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.