I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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