Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
