I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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