Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
