That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
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Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
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We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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