thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
