There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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