I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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